Body Fat %: 33.5
WARNING: Raw/real post coming your way. Not for the easily offended.
How the heck to start this.
It's really difficult seeing yourself make so much progress so quickly and then have it all go in reverse a couple months later. If I'm honest, I'm feeling really down about my body.
I'm always getting people saying, "muscle weighs more than fat, Malie" or "you're so pretty, you don't have to worry about your weight" or "you look skinny enough already, stop making it seem worse than it is"....
Do people not realize how hurtful their "good intentions" can be? This isn't about your insecurities, its about mine, you know? I'm doing this for me, and I'm trying to be vulnerable by sharing those insecurities.
Don't get me wrong, I'm so flattered by positive comments! They totally lift me up! But reading some of these... All I can think of is the underlying message: "Stop"
I won't stop.
I gained almost 10 pounds this last month and a half. Am I bloated? Am I building muscle but not shredding fat? Maybe! But I'm tired of looking at the scale and seeing the number get higher. I'm tired of looking at myself in the mirror and seeing little to NO changes.
The only person I can count on in this journey is myself and Logan. I've trusted him with my insecurities and feelings and he, as my trainer, is supposed to help me reach my goals, right? Well, he's done much more than that.
When I ask for an intense workout, he delivers. When I ask for meal prep advice, he gives it. Logan has become my friend as well as an amazing trainer. I'll have a horrible day, go to the gym, cry during a workout, and he's there to talk me down, motivate me, push me harder, and give me advice. I always leave The Alaska Club feeling amazing, and I think that's a really important thing for a gym/community to do.
So, shifting focus from the negative to the positive, I've made a few more revelations about my diet this month!
I've decided to officially go Paleo. If you don't know what Paleo is or you've always wanted to try a Paleo diet, check out this cool article from Buzzfeed, "The Ultimate Guide to Paleo"
Now, why did I decide to go Paleo? Well, I heard something the other day that really hit me...
"Find what works and stick to it."
SIMPLE! Seriously, it's such a simple thing to do, and yet, it had such a big impact. The only two times I've really tried to lose weight were 1) when I decided to compete in Miss Alaska and 2) when I was heading to Miss America.
Both times, guess what my diet was... Paleo.
While on the Paleo diet, I lost weight at least twice as fast as I ever had before and I was in the best shape of my life.
Yeah, that's me. I HAD ABS!
This is my goal body because I KNOW I can do it. I've been there before, felt amazing, and could do things athletically I never even dreamed of.
Going Paleo has worked for me before, so I've decided to do it again and really shred the fat away. I know I have muscle, now I just have to show it!
It's not my goal to be "skinny", it's my goal to athletic, healthy, and confident. Those are the things I felt at Miss America, my body just happened to reflect that!
I've felt like I have a renewed purpose on this fitness journey. I'm ready take on ANY obstacle, including my own self-judgement.
No more critics, no more unhealthy foods, no more self-hate.
I'm ready to inspire, eat right, and discover self-love.
Thank you to my family at The Alaska Club for constantly lifting me up when I'm at my lowest. Every single location has amazing people who want nothing but for me to succeed, and that is priceless.